Terry Jones has ceased to be

He has run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible.

Look, we all had a lot of hope that 2020 would be the year that things got better. Then things, uh, didn’t.

Indeed.

Then Terry Jones just had to go and pile on the misery by having the gall to seize up. Three weeks on and bam, no more. He has ceased to be.

And that SUCKS!

In all clarity, Terry Jones was one of the legendary members of the Monty Python comedy troupe. In other words, he was part of quite possibly the most important thing to emerge from the UK, my ancestors aside. The man’s body of work spans a half-century and is full of pop culture gold, for gods sake!

And now he is being far too quiet. Forever. Damn it.

The man laughed his way through his life, so I will honor him by continuing to make tasteless jokes at his expense. What follows is a selective, and increasingly exaggerated, accounting of his life.

A LEGEND IS BORN

Jones was born in 1942 in Wales to Dilys and Alick Jones. Our hero, and presumably his amusingly-named parents, moved to Surrey a few years later. Several boring school-related years later, he would meet Michael Palin. Together they would begin the groundwork that would lead to global domination.

Two blokes, one paper.

He dove head-first into television on shows such as Twice a Fortnight, Do Not Adjust Your Set, and The Complete and Utter History of Britain in the late sixties.

Then God spake, saying “May the giant foot be upon thee.” Jones had no bloody idea what this meant, as he was still mostly intact at the time. However, he still managed to co-create Monty Python’s Flying Circus with Graham Chapman, John Cleese, and several other people, this article can’t go on forever.

Thus, Voltron was formed. The tour de force that was Monty Python, or Monty Python for short, would go on to devastate the British — and to a lesser extent, the American — countryside for the next several years.

Voltron

Unable to contain their power to the small, rectangular glass tubes, the comedy troupe erupted onto the big screen with classics such as Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Life of Brian, and The Meaning of Life, and it was all Jones’ fault. Okay, well maybe not all his fault, but he did write, act in, and direct those films so let’s keep things in perspective.

Unable to cage these immense powers that made him feel funny in an uncomfortable place, he launched a multi-tiered war on common sense and human decency. I mean, honestly. The man had the gall to write a number of books, act in numerous shows and movies, write numerous shows and movies…

Okay, wait.

This man quite clearly should have been stopped long ago. Who allowed this gargantuan man of immense talent to even… and I mean he is gargantuan. Honestly, he just kept growing, upward, not outward, save for that one time. Eight-foot-nine when the Lord finally smacked him down.

Technically, he was partially responsible for David’s bulge(okay he just wrote Labyrinth, BUT STILL…)

There he was, just stealing all the glory. It was a tolerable theft, though. The kind of thing that whoops, there it is, I’ve grown used to it, now. This went on for some time.

Probably sensing that his power had grown too great for mere mortals, Jones went from working on several projects to just many in the early 2000’s. Then things went all sideways in 2014.

He re-formed Voltron with those other people in that Monty Python thing for Monty Python Live(Mostly). The Great Hidden Prophecy, sensing a resurgence in his latent abilities, set forth to silence him once and for all. Unfortunately, the plan was to all-too literally silence him.

In all(mostly)seriousness(mostly,) Terry Jones was diagnosed the next year with primary progressive aphasia. This form of dementia was Jones’ kryptonite, slowly robbing him of the ability to communicate.

He continued to make people laugh and smile through other unique styles of communication, including but not limited to: funny faces, flatulence, sock puppets, interpretive dance, and excessive blinking.

Finally, and most likely due to exhaustion from all that excessive blinking, Jones’ weary soul had enough and called it quits on 21 January, 2020. Now free of the shackles of icky humanity, only the gods know how his powers will swell. The very universe will quake in awe at the newest god to wade in its waters.

Have mercy on us, neogod Terry Jones. We didn’t know.

WE DIDN’T KNOW…

Terry Jones
1 February, 1942 – The End of Time

Looking Forward: 2020 in a Nutshell

Here’s what John Prescott has cooking for the new year

If you’ve been curious what I will be up to in the new year, then have a seat. Here’s what’s coming up.* First thing’s first:

E-BOOK ALERT: Nearly all of John Prescott’s books are now available in the Kindle store

Selling books of any kind in today’s market is increasingly difficult. It’s hard to convince people that, out of all the indie writers, you deserve their cash. It’s nearly impossible if you’re selling only paperback books.

My main goal is to be read. Therefore, I feel I have little choice but to make my books available in the Kindle marketplace. That means that as of now, After, After: Requiem, Preservation Protocol, Something Deeper, and NO ROAD HOME Book One: Echoes are available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

Visit the Books Page for links directly to Amazon to purchase or start reading. FAT MOP ZOO Presents The Interludes AGAIN will NOT be made available for Kindle. This is in part due to the piracy incident, but also because all the stories are already available to read on this website.

Sales of the paperback will continue to go towards supporting Fat Mop Zoo.

Future releases will be made immediately available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited unless otherwise noted.

NOW AVAILABLE: After: Requiem gets a new cover

Finding a good solution to a cover for After: Requiem has been a challenge from the beginning. What I ended up with was acceptable, but didn’t fit the feel of the first book. I went back to the drawing board and came up with a new design.

The all-new After: Requiem cover

Two lucky folks purchased the original version in the wild, meaning there are perhaps fourteen in existence. The version with the new cover is available now on Amazon. Click Here to visit the product page.

FEBRUARY 11: NO ROAD HOME Book Two: Hunter Hunted release

Raven returns in an amazing technicolor adventure involving nuclear-ravaged mutants, sentry bots, Synthetics, and more. Will Raven discover more of his past? Will he find his quarry? Or will the tables be turned once again? Find out February 11th!

Coming February 11, 2020

DID YOU KNOW: There are Easter eggs for both After and Preservation Protocol that can be found in the NO ROAD HOME series. In fact, all three works are connected. They all take place in the same world, but in three different realities. How many Easter eggs can you find?

JUNE 2020: NO ROAD HOME Book 3 release

I’ll be starting on the third book in the NO ROAD HOME series sometime in March with an eye towards a release in June. Will Raven finally find his family? Here’s a hint: You might just find out come June of this year.

AUGUST 2020: The Other Side of Things release

This is the Sci-Fantasy novel I’ve been working on in between working on the NO ROAD HOME series. It’s been a slog writing it this way, and I’ll probably never do it again, but I’m hoping to finally have it done in time for a release in mid-August.

David Rayne is a teenager that soon finds himself lost in another world. He is befriended by Vosh, a dog-like humanoid of the Kopek race. They venture together into the countryside in a bid to find David a way back home. They soon learn that the only person who might be able to help him is the most feared person in all the land: the Dark Queen.

Born out of a love for works like Labyrinth, Adventure Time and the Oz books, The Other Side of Things pays homage to both while creating a whole new fantasy world full of exciting discoveries, surprising twists, and dark-hearted reveals. Look for it sometime in August!

OCTOBER 2020: NO ROAD HOME Book 4 release

The fourth book in the NO ROAD HOME series will mark the third and final one out in 2020. It’s way too far out to offer much insight into this one, but rest assured there will be at least one major revelation ahead of the final chapter.

Will that, in fact, be the end for the series? That will be up to you, the humble reader. Raven will finish Book Five with answers, but also with a sense of purpose. Whether we pursue him in that purpose will depend on how many of you are interested in continuing the journey. To be continued? We’ll find out…

DECEMBER 2020: Fred and Jacob get their Game On release

Yup, that’s right! Fred and Jacob get their very own book for the first time at the ass-end of the year. Fred and Jacob get their Game On will be a short story collection of at least four all-original, never-before-published tales involving your favorite comic duo.

I’m going to try to flex my art muscle a little bit with this one, including possible comic strips and illustrations in between the stories, and maybe even an illustrated cover. We’ll see how much I’m willing to embarrass myself. Think of this book as an ode to the old Al Jaffe books from MAD Magazine.

This release will end the year with five titles released! My lord, what a year…

*All dates and releases are subject to change without notice or reason.

IMPORTANT UPDATE 9/18/2019

It recently came to my attention that the original eBook version of The Interludes has been pirated on at least two foreign-language websites.

The Interludes was only on sale for six months, and I only sold eight eBook copies. It breaks my heart that at least one of those eight sales was for the purposes of pirating my hard work.

I only made $20 from those eight sales. Even my best-selling book, After, only sold just over a thousand copies all-told in its original run. That netted me roughly $2,400, but that was over the course of two years.

I’m not getting rich off of these books. In most cases, I’ve made less than $50 from each of these books. I’m just barely making a living at my day job. Yet someone decided it was okay to pirate this book and cost me untold numbers of sales.

The point is that, effective immediately, none of the books under my direct control will be available in eBook format from this point onward.

The Interludes AGAIN has had its eBook version discontinued, and the pre-order for the first book in the No Road Home series, Echoes, has been canceled.

The Interludes AGAIN is still available as a paperback. Echoes will be available on October 15th as a $5 paperback.

The two released Kyanite novels, After and Preservation Protocol continue to be available in eBook format, as does Something Deeper, releasing on October 4th. The formats for these books are out of my hands.

The bottom line is that I do not have the heart, time, or energy to prowl the internet for bootleg versions of my books. Because of this, I will no longer be Indie-publishing eBooks. I will continue to Indie-publish paperback books, however.

Any sales from The Interludes AGAIN paperback will continue to go towards maintenance of this website.

Because of the loss of potential eBook royalties, I will most likely place a PayPal donation button on the main page of this website at some point. It will be 100% voluntary, and Fat Mop Zoo will continue to be 100% ad-free.

It is increasingly likely that I will be filing for bankruptcy sometime next year. I beg you, if you have enjoyed my writing or this website at all, please consider making a donation or purchasing one of my available books. Every little bit helps.

Thank you for being a reader.

-John

COMING SOON: No Road Home Book One: Echoes

It’s finally here! The first book in the No Road Home series is finally available for pre-order!

Sometimes ignorance isn’t bliss.

He woke up in the dirt, staring up into the eyes of two curious children. He was welcomed back to life by a menacing robot and its hot-headed owner. By the end of the day, he learned the world had ended. All this paled next to his most pressing issue.

He didn’t know who he was.

Judged for the clothing he wore, and who he might be, he is thrust into the desert to find his place in a world he can’t remember. Now he must use what instincts he has to survive in this new world while he struggles to remember the old one.

“Echoes” is the first in a planned five-part series following the adventurers of Raven, a soldier that time forgot. Will he find himself? Will he remember his place in the world? Are the people he encounters his friends, or his enemies? The road we follow rarely takes us where we expect it to. Will you follow Raven’s?

Echoes releases on October 15, 2019. CLICK HERE to pre-order on Amazon.com!

ALSO RELEASING IN OCTOBER:

Don’t forget that my novel Something Deeper will be releasing eleven days before Echoes! CLICK HERE to pre-order from Kyanite or HERE to pre-order from Amazon.com!

Stay tuned to FMZ for future updates about this and other great projects coming in the months ahead. As always, thanks for reading!

-John

WHAT’S NEW for September 1, 2019

Whoops, better put on my newsman fedora here.” – Mr. New Vegas

Fat Mop Zoo Presents: The Interludes AGAIN is now available in ebook and paperback formats at Amazon!

This book is Amazon exclusive to keep costs low. I’ve mentioned before, but I don’t want to charge more than I have to, being that, you know, nearly all of the stories are available for free on this website! KEEP IN MIND that the proceeds from all sales will go to maintaining the website and/or charity.

IN OTHER NEWS:

The first novella in the No Road Home series is nearly complete! Here’s a sneak-peek into the world of Book One: ECHOES.

Sometimes ignorance isn’t bliss.

He woke up in the dirt, staring up into the eyes of two curious children. By the end of the day, he learned the world had ended. But somehow he had a more pressing issue.

He didn’t know who he was.

Judged for the clothing he wore, and who he might be, he is thrust into the desert to find his place in a world he can’t remember. Now he must use what instincts he has to survive in this world while he struggles to remember the old one.

Look for it sometime in October. Preorder for ebook, paperback available the day of publication(hopefully. It’s complicated!) Stay tuned for updates!

ALSO:

You’ll start seeing new Interludes in the next week or two, and probably at the rate of one every three weeks or so. I’m going to try to make Deep Thoughts a semi-regular thing to fill in some of the dead space. Keep an eye out!

On the novel side of things, I’ll be picking back up on writing The Other Side of Things after completing the first No Road Home book. I don’t think it will be done before I have to start on the second NRH novella, but I’m making progress! I promise it will be worth the wait.

Thanks for reading this far. Things are tough in my own little world right now, but I’m trying to keep my chin up by brightening yours. I’ll talk to you soon.

John