DEEP THOUGHTS: Just Robot-Vehicle Things

Now that I’ve finally finished catching up on posting all the original Interlude stories(The Interludes, available again August 30, BUY IT BUY IT NOW,) I decided to fire up the old Deep Thoughts vehicle again.

You all uh, well you had mixed feelings on that, apparently.

The question this time around was: Transformers or Go-Bots? You answered:

Sooo let’s just unpack this a bit. Clearly five of you are NOT FANS of Deep Thoughts. Clearly that means you aren’t reading this right now either, so EAT A COW CHIP YOU RANDY BASTARDS.

Ahem.

Secondly, you will notice that nobody has any love for Left Shark anymore and you know what? I’m okay with that. Consider it a litmus test for the state of the internet… Okay, I just wanted four options, but it’s still an interesting result.

Left Shark SAD!

The meat of this poll was the robot battle, because DUH. It was never going to be a battle between these two. Transformers won handily. That said, I have a bit of a more nuanced take on it all…

Go-Bots were released by Tonka in 1983, beating Transformers out of the gate by a year. It was not long before Optimus Prime stepped to the group of cyborgs and fucked up their shit. They probably never saw it coming because, you know, some of them didn’t technically have faces.

“I should not be!”

Oh, you noticed that thing about the Go-Bots being cyborgs, huh? Yeah… Apparently they were an alien race looking to extend their lives by putting their brains in giant, transforming robots. Or something. It’s complicated. Anyway…

Transformers proved to be the more popular series. HOWEVER, Go-Bots tended to be the cheaper toy. I, like most children, preferred the Transformers, but I had far more Go-Bots toys. Given the alternative of having zero transforming toy action figures, I’m totally okay with that.

In fact, unlike most, I still have a soft spot for Go-Bots. I have one of those freaky headless “Staks” robots seen above in my mancave(aka “the hole in the wall by the furnace and water heater”.) He stands guard over my exercise bike alongside the mighty Go-Bots transforming water pistol.

“Sup?”

The point is this: The fact that they were more affordable made them more fun! If you blew one up with a firecracker or something like that, your parents were less likely to hate-murder you. They were also more likely to replace them(after they confiscated the firecrackers.) That’s a reality that holds true to this day.

Those two Go-Bots cost me less than $20 with shipping and handling on eBay. A semi-okay Optimus Prime would probably cost me four times that. Maybe Go-Bots aren’t so bad, after all…

IN CONCLUSION: Transformers may have my hand, but Go-Bots will always have my heart.