Opposite Day: Big Trouble in Miniature China

Must have been Grad Night again...
Must have been Grad Night again…

Fat Mop Zoo’s second Opposite Day takes us to Citrus Ridge, Florida, the final resting place of the Splendid China miniature theme park. Open in 1993, it had sixty different miniature hand-made replicas of famous Chinese landmarks in 1/10 scale to explore. In addition to the exhibits, park goers could be entertained by a cast of sixty Chinese dancers and performers.

Before...
Before…

The Great Wall of China replica consisted of over six million one-inch bricks and stretched a half mile. The Imperial Palace covered more than a half acre. The Leshan Giant Buddha (pictured to the left and below) was four stories tall, still dwarfing onlookers even as a miniature.

Despite its grandeur, Splendid China became a source of controversy almost from the moment it was announced.

After.
After.

The theme park was technically more or less owned and operated by the People’s Republic of China. Tibetans and other cultural minorities with cultural landmarks exhibited in the park were actually offended. They felt the theme park essentially claimed these landmarks as China’s own.

Additionally, a number of school boards and teachers’ associations banned field trips to the park. There were many Americans that were unhappy with the park, seeing it as a tool of propaganda. Even those lively Chinese performers were unhappy with the park. Many escaped from the park and sought asylum in the United States. US performers were eventually hired to fill in the empty positions.

The park finally closed after a decade full of protests and controversy. The park was invaded and ransacked by the local youth time and again in the ensuing years. What was left of the miniatures saw pieces stolen or destroyed. Eventually the whole park was slowly being reclaimed by nature. After passing through several owners, the remains of the park started to be torn down in 2013.

Home, Sweet Prison

Some prisons are nicer than others, like this one!
Some prisons are nicer than others, like this one!

Prisons are like homes. The come in all shapes and sizes. Some are nicer than others. Occasionally, they are set upon by the undead. That last one isn’t as common but I heard it helps to combat boredom in the prison population. Here are some notable ones…

Not surprisingly, the world’s largest prison is located in the country with the world’s largest prison population: the United States. Rikers Island in New York City is literally an island-sized jail complex located adjacent to LaGuardia Airport. A whopping 12,300 convicts are looked after by 9,000 officers. The first batch of prisoners touched down on the island all the way back in 1932. None were zombified, though.

That sounds like it could get a little crowded. What about a nice facility? Bastøy Prison in Norway fits the bill. The 2.5 mile island houses a mere 115 prisoners. Convicts live in cottages (which they hold the keys to) and work on a prison farm. But they also find time to go sunbathing on the beach, go horseback riding and enjoy some tennis. They don’t even have to worry about dead people rising from the grave which is good, since some are convicted murderers…

Maybe that was a little too nice. Prisoners are in prison to be punished, not coddled! You should send them to Camp 22 in North Korea… or not, if you have a soul. Inmates are said to be regularly subjected to extreme torture. Others are experimented on with deadly chemicals and other hazardous agents such as anthrax.

Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and guess that’s where the zombies are…

 

Perfectly Aged Drinking Establishments

Ug Beer Bar: Established 40,016 BCE
Ug Beer Bar: Established 40,016 BCE

It seems like every town has the one local bar that’s been around “forever”. The funny thing is some bars really have been around forever. Today, we’re embarking on the ultimate global bar crawl.

Okay, so the oldest bar in the world doesn’t quite date back to prehistory, but you can still make it pretty far back. The oldest documented bar, appropriately established in Athlone, Ireland in 900 CE, is simply known as Sean’s Bar. I’m going to go ahead and guess that having a creative name back then just wasn’t as important as it is today.

Renovations in 1970 revealed building materials in the walls that dated back to the 10th century. The bar also has records of every owner of the bar dating back to the same time period. The most notable owner? Boy George. He owned it briefly back in 1987. The paperwork available was compelling enough for Guinness to grant them the record for World’s Oldest Bar.

If Ireland is a little farther than you are willing to travel for some well-aged whiskey, you can always hop on down to Louisiana. The oldest continuously operating bar in the US is located in New Orleans(again some would say appropriately.) Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop opened its doors sometime prior to 1772.

The infamous pirate Jean Lafitte is, somewhat obviously, rumored to have owned the watering hole at one point. There’s been no concrete evidence found to prove this belief, unfortunately. Pirates weren’t known to keep good records of their activities for some odd reason.