The Feed – Page 23

Home, Sweet Prison

Some prisons are nicer than others, like this one!

Prisons are like homes. The come in all shapes and sizes. Some are nicer than others. Occasionally, they are set upon by the undead. That last one isn’t as common but I heard it helps to combat boredom in the prison population. Here are some notable ones…

Not surprisingly, the world’s largest prison is located in the country with the world’s largest prison population: the United States. Rikers Island in New York City is literally an island-sized jail complex located adjacent to LaGuardia Airport. A whopping 12,300 convicts are looked after by 9,000 officers. The first batch of prisoners touched down on the island all the way back in 1932. None were zombified, though.

That sounds like it could get a little crowded. What about a nice facility? Bastøy Prison in Norway fits the bill. The 2.5 mile island houses a mere 115 prisoners. Convicts live in cottages (which they hold the keys to) and work on a prison farm. But they also find time to go sunbathing on the beach, go horseback riding and enjoy some tennis. They don’t even have to worry about dead people rising from the grave which is good, since some are convicted murderers…

Maybe that was a little too nice. Prisoners are in prison to be punished, not coddled! You should send them to Camp 22 in North Korea… or not, if you have a soul. Inmates are said to be regularly subjected to extreme torture. Others are experimented on with deadly chemicals and other hazardous agents such as anthrax.

Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and guess that’s where the zombies are…

Perfectly Aged Drinking Establishments

It seems like every town has the one local bar that’s been around “forever”. The funny thing is some bars really have been around forever. Today, we’re embarking on the ultimate global bar crawl.

Okay, so the oldest bar in the world doesn’t quite date back to prehistory, but you can still make it pretty far back. The oldest documented bar, appropriately established in Athlone, Ireland in 900 CE, is simply known as Sean’s Bar. I’m going to go ahead and guess that having a creative name back then just wasn’t as important as it is today.

Renovations in 1970 revealed building materials in the walls that dated back to the 10th century. The bar also has records of every owner of the bar dating back to the same time period. The most notable owner? Boy George. He owned it briefly back in 1987. The paperwork available was compelling enough for Guinness to grant them the record for World’s Oldest Bar.

If Ireland is a little farther than you are willing to travel for some well-aged whiskey, you can always hop on down to Louisiana. The oldest continuously operating bar in the US is located in New Orleans(again some would say appropriately.) Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop opened its doors sometime prior to 1772.

The infamous pirate Jean Lafitte is, somewhat obviously, rumored to have owned the watering hole at one point. There’s been no concrete evidence found to prove this belief, unfortunately. Pirates weren’t known to keep good records of their activities for some odd reason.

Plants Are Awesome, Too

Poor conversationalists, but very beautiful.

It occurred to me that I’ve been giving animals a whole lot of loving while completely ignoring the leafy side of the coin. Plants can be just as lovable as puppies and kittens! Well, mostly… Regardless, here’s to some mighty massive plants!

Trees are an obvious place to start when it comes to record size and staying power. These plus-size plants manage to reach their epic heights by growing over the course of dozens, if not hundreds of years. But just like with animals, there’s always overachievers.

The current oldest living tree is Old Tjikko in Switzerland. It was born approximately 9,550 years ago. To put this into perspective, it was born a mere fourteen years after Atlantis sank into the sea(according to legend.) As is often the case with the geriatric set, this tree’s a little on the short side. The ancient specimen stands a paltry sixteen feet tall.

Not surprisingly, the record for tallest living tree goes to Hyperion, a redwood tree in Northern California. It stands at an astounding height of 379 feet, equivalent to a 31-story building. Despite it’s amazing stature, Hyperion is believed to be between 700 and 800 years old.

So we have the oldest, and the tallest, but what about the largest overall?

That record goes to General Sherman, a 2,100 year-old Giant Sequoia that can be found appropriately enough in Sequoia National Park in California(what is it about that state, anyway?) The good General is a good hundred feet shorter than Hyperion, but is over 27 feet wide. The bark itself is believed to be up to two feet thick in places! The estimated weight for this behemoth? 4,000,000 pounds.

Cats and Dogs: Super-Sized Edition

For my inaugural Opposite Day I did the smallest cat and dog breeds. I thought it would be fun to do the opposite (get it?) and showcase the largest cat and dog breeds! 😀 Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and guess that the dogs are getting another game point.

That person is like six feet tall — Great Dane

Scooby-dooby-doo! The largest breed of dog is almost certainly the Great Dane. These massive pups average nearly three feet tall at the shoulder, but it’s not uncommon to see even taller examples. The tallest recorded being 3 feet, 8 inches at the shoulder.

They also regularly weigh as much as the average adult human male. Larger specimens tip the scale at upwards of 200 lbs. Their sheer size, and the fact that their dietary needs are as large as they are, may contribute to their relatively short lifespan. Danes typically only live 7 to 10 years.

Sorry cat lovers, the dogs do indeed win again(that’s 3-0 now!) Like the smallest cat breed, this matter is made a little complicated by what’s considered a breed. I’ll talk more on that later.

Officially, the Maine Coon is considered the largest domesticated cat breed. These mammoth mounds of fur can tip the scales at 20 lbs. The longest Maine Coon on record was just over four feet long!

Cat lovers take heart, because the biggest cat lives longer than the biggest dog. Maine Coons can live 12 to 16 years(3-1!) That’s the same lifespan as the Savannah, which is the Maine Coons’ contender for the crown. Not yet fully considered a domestic breed, this half-domestic, half-African Serval has been known to grow up to four and a half feet long and reach 17 inches at the shoulder.

Taking Temperatures to the Extreme

Turn on the heat, would you? — Death Valley in wintertime

Humans like to complain… a lot. One of those things humans like to complain about most are temperature extremes. It’s the dead of winter, below freezing. We think of sitting out in the sun in eighty degree weather, sipping our iced tea. Then when it’s eighty degrees out we huddle in our air conditioned homes and dream of the wonderful cold of winter.

One thing we humans are even worse about is realizing that it could always be much, much worse. Take the heat, for example. You’ll be hard-pressed to find anyone who would tell you that 100 degrees Fahrenheit isn’t so bad. Then again, you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone alive the day it hit 134 degrees Fahrenheit in Furnace Creek, California.

That’s the hottest recorded temperature on earth, and it’s stood for a hundred years. Yes, it was in Death Valley. Why wouldn’t it be? From one extreme to another, let’s see how frigid things can get.

The coldest temperature was predictably recorded in Antarctica, and it was nearly the mirror opposite of the record high: -135.8 degrees Fahrenheit. Going out in 25 degree weather suddenly doesn’t seem so bad, does it? Well… okay, yeah it does. Man, I can’t wait for summer vacation in Death Valley!

On second thought, I can wait…